Eurovision 2015 - my thoughts

I love Eurovision. But one of the main problems I have is remembering which country / song was which at the end of the night, so for Eurovision 2015 I decided to make a few notes to help me and thought I'd share them here as I had a bit of giggle reading them back to myself.

Warning: these are my first impressions and are very much focused on the costumes, gimmicks, singers...everything except the actual songs really. Enjoy!

Eurovision Song Contest 2015 Summary

  1. Slovenia - Here For You
    What's with the headphones? It's like she's trying to channel a bit of Paloma Faith and a bit of Duffy with the way she's trying to sing. Not succeeding.
  2. France - N'oubliez Pas
    'Don't forget', but the song itself was a little forgettable. The backdrop looks a bit like the aftermath of a zombie apocalypse with white birds being the only survivors. Oh and some male drummers dressed in awful beige outfits.
  3. Israel - Golden Boy
    OMG the golden shoes. Very Lady Gaga. The backing dancers are very boy band - N*Sync meets JLS. #Israelboybandselfie
  4. Estonia - Goodbye to Yesterday
    Weird shadows on the floor behind that look nothing like the singers. And then he starts looking at her in a really creepy way as he's playing the guitar. Then she starts crying. I feel uncomfortable.
  5. UK - Still in Love with You
    Trying to not be biased, but I kind of like it. Reminds me a bit of Gramaphonedzie's 2009 song 'Why don't you.' Still, feels like the most un-British thing we could have entered. This is probably a good thing with Eurovision. Could be improved upon with some Charleston dancing, ideally featuring Strictly Come Dancing's Len Goodman.
  6. Armenia - Face the Shadow
    Why are they dressed in Grecian Scottish Widow outfits?
  7. Lithuania - This Time
    OK so Lithuania somehow managed to sneak Mumford and Sons into Eurovision and get them to play the backing for them. Wooo kissing. LOTS OF KISSING - SAME AND OPPOSITE SEX KISSING. YAY! Definitely saw some tongues there.
  8. Serbia - Beauty Never Lies
    Big, opera singer lady. Chunky yet funky. It's not over until... Is that a pan scourer in her hair? Backing singers are dressed in floor length white PVC coats. Bit The Matrix meets NHS nurses. STRIPPING  to reveal second outfit - very Bucks Fizz Making Your Mind Up.
  9. Norway - A Monster Like Me
    She has the best hair I have ever seen in Eurovision. Gorgeous, thick, long, wavy, red hair. Demelza from Poldark meets Merida in Disney's Brave.
  10. Sweden - Heroes
    I was expecting David Bowie but got a cartoon background manipulated by the very attractive singer in real time. He was cool until it was revealed he was wearing leather chaps. Just no.
    UPDATE: Sweden win Eurovision 2015
  11. Cyprus - One Thing I Should Have Done
    Oooh. Black and white vintage feel. Classic. I do like a man in a nice suit and glasses. OK now we have colour - I think I preferred him in black and white. There's something tragically Ronan Keating about him.
  12. Australia - Tonight Again
    AUSSIE, AUSSIE, AUSSIE! Yes, yes yes! Really liked this song.OK that woman is wearing really short shorts. And the lead singer looks like he's dressed to go on the pull at the Polo.
  13. Belgium - Rhythm Inside
    This is a bit different as a song, I'm not sure what I think. This guy is very young - think he is at Eurovision on work experience. Why is he on the floor? OK I think he is enjoying the 'Rhythm Inside' a little too much. OK now he's gone from baby face to psycho face - weird. It's like he's manifesting a sex offender's inner struggle to stay in control. Oh he's mentioning being "wicked down below" and a "love attack." Stop it, Alex.
  14. Austria - I'm Yours
    PIANO PYROTECHNICS!!!! I love a bit of Eurovision pyrotechnics and special effects. Is that Kid Rock on the piano?
  15. Greece - One Last Breath
    "One last breath" until we run out of money. Looks like she's spent it all on hair extensions.
  16. Montenegro - Adio (Goodbye)
    Lots of stomping - female violinist with a fierce headpiece playing on the waves of the sea. The lead singer looks like the love child of Barry from Eastenders and Ricky Gervais.
  17. Germany - Black Smoke
    She is wearing a HUGE bun ring / doughnut thing. Oooh a nice backless jumpsuit there. Ok, are those floating vaginas in the background? Oh god, one single enormous feather earring. I hate it.
  18. Poland - In the Name of Love
    She looks super-elegant in that wheelchair. It's right she should be here - all about overcoming adversity and personal tragedies. Beautiful floaty dress. Wait, are those needle marks on her arm?
  19. Latvia - Love Injected
    Now she should have the needlemarks on her arms instead. Bit of an Ellie Goulding vibe. Huge red dress ruined by massive tattoos over her boobs.She looks like Snookie from Jersey Shore but the song sounds like it should be on an episode of Geordie Shore.
  20. Romania - De La Capat / All Over Again
    I'm thinking all of the B's here for these band members. Bald, baseball cap, bemused and bored.The singer is rocking some serious collar embellishment though. He's working it.
  21. Spain - Amanecer (Break of day)
    What is with the Scottish Widows outfits in Eurovision 2015? This time with a red cloak - I hope she doesn't do a Madonna and fall. Ooh and a big reveal shows a light green dress underneath. And fierce calf-length gladiator sandals. Lots of lifts with the topless male dancer. As a viewer, the backdrop makes me feel I am staring into the earth's core. Weird.
  22. Hungary - Wars for Nothing
    I'm getting a bit of an Alanis Morissette vibe from this girl. I do like a wine-coloured dress. Lots of weird backdrops going on here - the barbed wire gun formation has now become a palm tree of guns. And now there's a huge mushroom cloud and green radioactive waste on the floor. Appropriate - perhaps the title should be (Nuclear) Wars for Nothing.
  23. Georgia - Warrior
    This girl is doing some serious gothic power dressing. Maleficent meets Morticia Adams. Thigh high PVC boots are a bit dominatrix though. And she's standing on a lightening swarm, before crying giant tears of mercury in the background. Bizarre.
  24. Azerbaijan - Hour of the Wolf
    Male and female dancer performing like they are werewolves mid-change. Literal interpretation of the song title here. Oh god, what an awful key change.
  25. Russia - A Million Voices
    'A Million Voices'...that will be ruthlessly silenced. And allegedly the song is about love and tolerance. Hmm... she looks like a cross between Holly Willoughby and Fearne Cotton. They've missed a trick here; they could have had an animated choir of millions of angelic children singing in the background. And we have some crocodile tears. It's actually not a bad song - they'd better not win.
  26. Albania - I'm Alive
    She reminds me of Caroline Flack when she was on Strictly Come Dancing. Oooh, the girls are out to play here in the very deep plunge neckline.
  27. Italy - Grande Amore
    OK so they are basically Il Divo. Loving the detail of the red sequin handkerchiefs just peeking out of their pockets. Oh, they're called Il Volo - close enough. And it looks like the ruins of Pompeii in the background. Definitely a dramatic ending to the evening's entrants.


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