15 thoughts everyone has on results day

A short caveat about this post: it has been a long time since I got my GCSE results. It *could* be over 10 years in fact. What? Oh, you don’t look like you could be anywhere near that old, Alex! Thanks! (I wish).

Regardless, this post is not just relevant to GCSE’s, but to A Levels, Degree results *remembers actually being violently sick the morning of getting her results for her first degree*, heck, any sort of similar results you’ve had to agonisingly wait a few weeks, or even days for. STI test results, anyone? (Lol. Sorry to any family reading this) #sorrynotsorry.

The nausea, the heart beating so fast and so hard that you feel it’s going to burst out of your chest at any moment and leave a right old mess on the walls before the vultures and carrion start to circle. The heart-wrenching anguish. The dread. All applicable to multiple result-related situations, these are 15 thoughts everyone has on results day…

  1. Whatever I get is going to determine my ENTIRE future. I’m only 16. That’s not fair. Why should the rest of my life depend on a few hours spent in exam halls? (Note to 16-year old self: Chill. All will be fine).
  2. I’m not going to get into sixth form/college. I’ll have to drop out and get a random job that I will be terrible at whilst my friends get to have free periods and play pool in the common room.
  3. Oh god. The teachers already know what we’ve got. Why are they looking at me like that? WHAT DO THEY KNOW? HOW BAD IS IT?
  4. Ha. Well If I don’t do well it reflects badly on them doesn’t it. Ha. Now who’s smug. Hint: still them
  5. Everyone keeps saying GCSE’s are getting easier. Great now I’m going to feel even more stupid when I don’t get all A*s. My cat could probably do better.
  6. But the grade boundaries online DO NOT reflect this at all. They’re as high as my pulse rate and blood pressure.Thanks for nothing AQA / Edexcel / OCR.
  7. Great. It’s raining. If this is some form of pathetic fallacy (I deserve an A* in English Lit) then it does not bode well. At All.
  8. Man this walk from the door to the table with all the envelopes sealing people’s fates is the longest in the world. It’s like walking The Green Mile. And we know that never ends well. Is that thunder?
  9. Maybe I’ll actually do really well and I’ll be really happy. I’ll be one of those kids in the local paper  jumping high into the air, jubilantly high-fiving.
  10. Ha. Who are you kidding. You’ll be sitting on Google instead searching things like “How to retake exams”, “How to deal with failure”, “How to become a remote sheep farmer”.
  11. I’m going to avoid eye contact with anyone until I’ve opened it. Especially smiling people who already have their results; displaying them brazenly in their hands. Yes that includes you,best friend of five years. *Runs away*
  12. OK, this is it. Take yourself to that quiet corner and open that envelope with your trembling hands. LET’S DO THIS.
  13. OMG I’m so stressed I can’t understand what any of this says. Where are the grades goddammit? I just want to see the grades.
  14. Oh. That was actually OK. I’m no child genius but I’ve actually done pretty well all things considered. Now breathe. I shall get into sixth form. I shall be with all my friends. I shall go to the (leavers’) ball.
  15. Glad that’s over. Where are we going to celebrate?

Disclaimer: However you did, be proud of the work you put in and what you achieved. It's had not to judge yourself against friends, siblings etc. but everyone is different and everyone's personal goals are different.


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